Are You in a Safe Relationship?

Did you ever have your doctor ask if you're in a safe relationship? There's a good reason for that. "Nearly one third of female homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner." In fact, in 70-80 percent of intimate partner homicide cases, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.

Abuse whether emotional, verbal, physical or sexual does not belong in an intimate relationship. And no matter how your partner acts at all other times, someone who threatens you, assaults you, controls you, lies to you or cheats on you does not love you. Does. Not. Love. You.

The first step in dealing with an abusive partner or spouse is admitting to yourself that the abuse exists and is unacceptable. The second step is to leave the relationship.

Is it that simple? Yes. Is it that easy? No. A woman will often remain in an abusive relationship for a number of reasons, including fear of what will happen if she leaves, economic dependence, misplaced loyalty toward the abuser and even shame over her situation.

If you are in an abusive relationship, it's important to remember the following:

You don't deserve it. No matter what the abuser accuses you of cheating on him, lying to him, plotting against him and whether or not his accusations are true, no one deserves to be abused. No one.

It isn't your fault. From major financial problems to something as trivial as a dirty look, an abuser doesn't require a logical excuse to abuse. Remember, the reason for the abuse originates solely with the abuser, not the victim.

You shouldn't be living in fear. Absolutely no one deserves to live in fear, not you, your kids or even your pets.

Your life will get better. No matter how difficult it may seem to leave, your life will improve dramatically once you leave an abusive relationship. Living a life free of intimidation, fear and pain is a gift you give to yourself and your children.

If you're in an abusive relationship and need help, there are an abundance of resources available to provide assistance. Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 today. It's a matter of your own life and death.